Every parent will have to deal with separation anxiety at some point or another. Leaving your child with a caregiver or at school can be a difficult time. Your child will likely want to stay with you, and then, to compound things, you feel guilty about dropping them off. In fact, with some children, this issue persists beyond the early years into school age.
However, if you’re wondering, “How to calm my child’s anxiety?” know that it is possible to put them on the path to greater independence. Read on to find out how to deal with separation anxiety with kids.
What’s normal when it comes to separation anxiety
It’s typical for most children to experience some level of separation anxiety beginning at about six months old. This peaks during the toddler years, but older children will have some bouts of separation anxiety, especially during periods of transition.
Younger children may show separation anxiety through not wanting to sleep on their own, crying when they leave their parents, having temper tantrums and clinging to parents before separation. Older children may experience separation anxiety in other ways, such as lying to avoid going to school, changing behavior prior to separation and experiencing a greater level of anxiety about a parent.
How to deal with separation anxiety with kids
There are some simple ways to lessen the impact of your child’s anxiety. First, it’s important to keep a consistent schedule as much as possible. For example, keep a set morning routine with breakfast, brushing teeth, putting on clothes, etc. The same goes for the bedtime routine.
The reason you want to keep a consistent schedule is so that the child knows exactly what’s coming next. This provides some level of comfort and stability and is why childcare centers keep a set schedule as well.
Communicating with your child is another important way to curb separation anxiety. This means that if there are any major changes coming (for example, you’re going on vacation without the child), talk to them about it well ahead of time. You may even be able to get the child excited about the change. For example, if they’re going to a new school, you can discuss the toys they’ll play with there.
Managing your own anxiety
The reality is that, being their parents, our children will often mirror our moods and feelings. If you’re nervous about sending your child out into the world, they’ll pick up on that. Take a deep breath, and remember that you’re making decisions that you know are best for your child.
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